Rational Inquiry -Volume 7 Number 2
By Jon Wesick
The dead scientists annoyed everyone.
Avogadro’s ghost knocked homeopathic
pills off health food stores’ shelves. Charles Darwin
rattled windows at Kansas school board meetings.
Alexander Fleming removed antibiotics from animal feed.
Enrico Fermi rapped innocent citizens
on the head, whenever they said, "nucular."
Without explanation the letters of the daily horoscope
rearranged themselves to spell Kepler and Hubble.
When the President assembled his advisors to discuss
the hundred billion dollar Perpetual Motion Initiative,
a cold spot formed in the Oval Office.
Enraged he stared at his frozen coffee cup.
Couldn’t the poltergeist see that the nation’s future
(and his reelection) depended on this project?
He convened a blue-ribbon panel of psychics,
who channeled Ludwig Boltzmann.
"Why have you forsaken my life’s work?"
howled the spirit.
Special interests ran issue ads in prime time.
The American people’s opinions came down like bulldozers.
Congress demanded exorcism. The President assembled a team
of eminent Creationist clerics. After a long struggle
the scientists and their method succumbed.
At last we were free from their tiresome demands
to confirm hypotheses with experiments, free
from all their yucky math, free
to believe whatever we wanted.